As any police officer will tell you, there’s little truth to the phrase ‘routine traffic stop,’ as proven by a recent incident in Oklahoma.
When Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Darryl Beebe clocked John Wayne Kellerman, 54, for speeding 12 miles over the speed limit, he probably imagined the driver being a little more clothed and a lot less distracted.
Approaching the vehicle, deputy Beebe realized that not only was Kellerman wearing only a thong bikini but he was also covered in Vaseline.
According to the police report the “nearly naked” driver had an opened jar of Vaseline and had a dirty magazine in his passenger seat. Deputy Beebe said Kellerman seemed to be very nervous and trembling when he asked for his driver’s license. After admitting to masturbating while driving, Kellerman was even courteous enough to offer a rag to wipe off his ID. Deputy Beebe repulsively declined his “semen rag”.
When Deputy Beebe ran his license, he found that Kellerman had a warrant and arrested him for driving with a revoked license. While Kellerman said that he thought that license was good, it hadn’t been valid since 1985.
In the last 27 years, Kellerman had served time in prison from charges ranging from possession to escaping confinement. He has been released on a $1000 band and has a pending court date.